The Mello Situation
by thatswhyyyoudont
Summary: Or, when Near decides to base his relationship goals on that of L and Light's. Alternative ending, post canon. L x Light slash, Near x Mello slash.
Near decided to go to L for advice on one of the detective's rare visits to Wammy's House.

Near wasn't L's biggest fan, but he knew Mello adored L. They got on famously. L was also the smartest person Near knew, and considerably better with people than he was. And L was pretty nice about doing the Wammy kids favours and offering advice. Which was nice of him, considering they were all so eager for his title and, consequently, his death. Therefore, L was irrefutably the best person to go to.

"Mello's mad at me," he told L, with no preamble, when they were finally alone. It was difficult getting L on his own on a visit. The other children were always all over him.

L didn't look very surprised. These days, Mello was always mad at Near. Near didn't even understand what he was doing wrong any more.

"I heard," L said, without looking up from his laptop.

Near thought of Mello complaining about him to L and winced.

"How do I make him like me?"

L looked awkward, the way he did when someone tried to ask for his phone number.

"You're better at this sort of thing than I am," Near said patiently. "You and Light used to hate each other, didn't you?"

For some reason, that made him look even more uncomfortable.

Light was in England on a language exchange, in the next village. Since the Kira case ended, he and L seemed to get on pretty well. According to gossip, they spoke on the phone a lot, and had met up at least twice, possibly more – L was always infuriatingly vague whenever he went anywhere.

L had also been at Wammy's for a suspiciously long time. He usually ducked out as soon as he decently could, normally after a few days. He had been here for two weeks now and showed no signs of leaving. It would be interesting to find out when Light's exchange ended.

Near knew his people skills were getting worse if he was bothering even L, the prime weirdo, but he couldn't do anything about it. He needed an answer. "How did you get Light to stop hating you?" he prompted.

"Well…I'm not entirely sure he has," L said awkwardly. "We still get at each other sometimes. The whole situation has been very confusing."

Near frowned on his way out. L had gone down in his estimation even further. He was useless.

* * *

However, the next time Near was around Mello, the older boy was almost civil to him. He wasn't exactly friendly, but he wasn't as impatient or cold, either. He used to sometimes refuse to even be in the same room as Near, but now Near could watch TV with him and Matt without an argument breaking out.

He knew L had pulled some strings, somehow. At first he was annoyed, then embarrassed, then simply grateful. He wished L would tell him how to face these problems instead of addressing them himself, but it was better than nothing.

Near could now lie on his stomach at Mello's side when they were talking, ostensibly playing with his robots, while secretly listening to every word. He mostly stayed silent, afraid of spoiling the magic.

* * *

When Near went to L again, to offer a begrudging thanks, he barged into his room-cum-office, and found Light in there with him. They both started, although they didn't appear to be doing much. They both had laptops balanced on their knees, and Light was resting his feet on L's chair.

L was looking annoyed. " _Knock_ , please, Near."

"You've never been bothered about knocking before," he pointed out. He looked Light over once before deciding to ignore him. "Things are better," he informed L.

"Great," L murmured to his screen, already losing interest. Then he blinked a little and looked up. "What things?"

"With Mello," he said meaningfully.

"Oh," he said, but eyes were vague, distant. He'd probably forgotten. "What happened?"

"Nothing," Near said loyally, not wanting to talk about Mello behind his back. "It's just better."

"That's good."

Near looked at Light, who'd gone back to his laptop and was politely pretending to be deaf.

"What's he doing here?"

He looked up then. So did L.

"Near." L was looking irritated all over again. "That's very rude. Light-kun is here because I invited him."

"But he wanted to kill you."

"Yes," L said simply.

Light opened his mouth like he wanted to deny it.

An uncomfortable silence descended over them.

L gave his head an exasperated little shake, as if he didn't have time for it. "Be nice to Light, Near," he said, going back to his laptop with a dismissive air.

Near left them to it. Although he didn't like L, he liked Light even less.

* * *

He found himself going back however, when he realised Light might generally be more forthcoming than L. Near could look at L's face to check if he was lying. It was quite a good arrangement.

"How did you stop hating each other and start liking each other?" he demanded, sitting on the office floor. .

L stopped typing, but didn't say anything.

Light glanced at him uncertainly and answered for him. "Well, I think we liked each other all along. Underneath."

"But how?"

"Well…we've got to know each other quite well, with working together so much. We became very close."

"I've known Mello for five years and three months."

Light didn't offer any further comments. Both he and L had gone very red.

Near left them in disgust. Useless.

* * *

"Be nice," L said to Mello and Matt, for the the eleventh time.

Word had got out at Wammy's that Light came over sometimes, and the entire house was neatly divided into those who were Team Light, and those who thought L could do much better. The whole house had always been obsessed with L and all gossip regarding him.

Near stayed on his stomach listening to Mello and Matt bitch about Light, although he was getting rather bored of the whole thing. He almost felt a little guilty. Light had been growing on him since he had opened up to him about the Mello situation.

Mello snorted now. "You want us to be nice to _Kira_. Who almost killed you and Wammy. I say it a lot, but you really do have appalling taste."

L was looking more annoyed by the minute, which was happening a lot lately. It normally took a lot more to ruffle him. "I told you, nothing's going on. We just work together. And we're friends."

"I get it," Matt said to Light later, while L was in the shower. "Really. L's lovely. If I swung that way I'd totally go for him."

Light was looking like it was harder and harder for him to keep his temper. Near felt a little sorry for him.

"I don't get it," Near said, to distract them.

"What don't you get?" Matt asked him.

"Why are they not together?"

"Because Light doesn't have any balls," Mello drawled, before Light could answer him.

"And because L thinks Light's too young, I think," Matt said quickly, to placate him.

Light looked stricken. "Really? How do you know that?"

"I heard him on the phone to someone. Something about seven years being too much of an age gap, it'd be like cradle snatching."

"What? That's stupid. That's not true. Is it?" he said, missing Matt and Mello's exchanged eyebrow lifting.

"So you do like him," Matt confirmed.

"I didn't say that," Light said quickly.

Mello rolled his eyes. "L can be a little stupid about these things," he told Light. "Which is why you have to make the first move."

Near and Matt looked up at him in surprise.

"But I- "

"Come on, Light," he said now, aiming his chocolate wrapper at the bin and recrossing his legs. "You've already left your girlfriend and your Father loves him. You're halfway there."

"And you might even grow on us," Matt said, glancing at Mello pointedly. Mello ignored him.

Light was looking sullen. "We were in each other's pockets for months. Nothing ever happened."

"He was working. L wouldn't do something like that on a case," Mello told him, truthfully enough.

Light still looked sceptical. "He's done so much for me. He's been there for me more than anyone since it happened. I don't know what I'd do if I made him uncomfortable and things got awkward."

"Why do you think he's done so much for you, Light?" Mello asked him patiently.

Light looked like he was wavering. Near too was beginning to understand.

"What's up with you?" Matt asked Mello, when L had returned and they both went out together.

Mello shrugged. "They do sort of go together."

Shaking his head, Matt caught sight of Near, who ducked his head just in time and pretended to be playing. "Just for future reference, Near," Matt called to him cheerfully. "This is not a good example of how relationships work."

"Obviously," Near said, with contempt. "Because it isn't."

* * *

Except, apparently, it was.

Mello and Matt later made a bet on them. Mello was sure they had finally started fooling around. Matt was less sure. Near had come along for the ride. Then they found L and Light on the couch asleep and snuggling.

"Snuggling proves nothing," Matt said with contempt. "Anyone can snuggle. You and I probably did it, when we were kids."

"But they're not kids," Mello pointed out. "They're adult, bloodthirsty ex-enemies with emotional problems."

"Whatever," Matt said. "Proves nothing."

"Look," Near said, sitting up. They followed his finger.

They were holding hands.

"Aw," Matt said, in spite of himself.

"Satisfied?" Mello says.

"Yeah, yeah," he stood to go. "Let's get out of here. I feel creepy watching. What are you doing?"

Mello was taking out his phone and aiming it at them. "Potentially blackmailing my way into being the next L."

"A photo of him cuddling his boyfriend is hardly blackmail material," Near pointed out.

"Shut up, Near," Mello said, at the same time Matt said,

"They're not boyfriends!"

Near wondered why he bothered saying anything. He was getting bored of the whole thing.

* * *

"Oh," he said at their next spying session. This at least was a little more interesting.

"Well," said Mello.

"I guess that does prove it."

They stared at L and Light.

Near decided he maybe needed to rethink the whole Mello situation. If that was what a relationship entailed, perhaps he was not ready yet.


End file.
